The Quiet Days
by Lest Kingston
Summary: What happens at Hellsing's manor whenever there is no freak to kill or evil nazis to play with ? Only one thing is left sure, Alucard is still having his fun by any means. General Disclaimer : I DON'T OWN HELLSING. Slight AlucardxHalconnen in the future.
1. Chapter 1 : Monday

Hello people, I wish you'll enjoy this fanfiction. I may write more if you like it, so review !

* * *

_**MONDAY **_

This Monday was a quiet day at the Hellsing's manor. Quiet day meant no freak raping and killing in England's streets. So it meant no mission. And no mission meant no killing. And as far as we all know, no killing meant a bored Alucard.

Everybody knew, even the fresh new recruits after a few week, that whenever the elder vampire was bored, he was up to nothing except pissing off anybody that would cross or not his way, in short words he used to piss anyone. That's also why when in "quiet" days, nobody dared wandering in and around the mansion. Indeed nobody wanted to have Alucard bugging him. Integra and Seras were quite aware of the situation as they were his master and fledgling. There was only one exception to the indubitable cosmic law that pushed Alucard to kick the joy of the living (or undead) out: Walter.In fact he was the only living being on the world that Alucard dared not to frankly bother. Understand by that that he never dared to pull down Walter's pants in public as he used to do with nearly every of the other residents. With Walter it was more a matter of mental pissing rather than crappy (dirty?) tricks whishes embarrassment was the main goal.

Ho yea, Alucard enjoyed laughing at people he just embarrassed. Sometimes they even thought that he was enjoying that way more than killing.

Especially the day he asked his fledgling to come along with him to Integra's office and coldly said pointing at her with a melted expression of laughter and disgust: _"She's the one who knocked over the ashtray in the drawer."_

Seras expression's was priceless this day. It was something between "WTF?!" and "What did I do???"

It became even more priceless when Integra pulled out her handgun and aimed at them. Obviously it only startled Seras. Alucard stood still as he was quite accustomed at this. But for the Police Girl it was a real shock to see her master's master point a gun at them. Anyway the two vampires stood so close to each other that it was impossible to say who's forehead was about to get filled with silver bullets.

As a matter of fact the ashtray that Alucard had obviously (willingly?) knocked over was still containing embers. As a consequence it started a fire in Integra's desk. Thankfully the expensive polished back oak desk was retaining the fire inside the drawers saving the mansion form wider scale Alucard's handmade disaster. The main fuel to this fire evidently being the paperwork she's been doing over the three last weeks Integra was in the worst anger she could possibly ever had.

So they stood there, in front of Integra's smoking desk. Staring at each other from each of the dimensions of the room, the air became tense and tenser. A maniac grin appeared on Alucard's face as he was delighting at this masterpiece of art he had done. Pissing off his master and scaring her fledging at the same time! Alucard had always thought that his high level nut breaking was comparable to some kind of art.

At this moment Integra's suspicion was confirmed, it was Alucard, that very nut vampire who did this.I can assume that you know well enough the concrete continuation of her thought.

A few gunshots and screams later. Alucard and Seras came out of the office as Integra was still barking very non-catholic words to them. Seras was thoughtless. Her master was laughing. "Harwaharwaharwaharwa"

His laughter's and words sounded strange to Walter. They sounded strange until he crossed them in the main lane. Indeed Alucard's deformed face explained it all. "Lert's gow tho teh bashment Polish Girlf".Walter just continued his way to Integra's office bringing her midnight tea. A tea that for sure was made with very expensive high quality premium Ceylon leaves, in a few words one of the most tasteful tea that could be made on earth. Everything would go back to normal as tea had the amazing property of calming Integra whatever annoyed her. So everything would be fine for the rest of the day except the thing that the elder vampire found wistful the fact of stalking in the kitchen last night. He was used to do that in order to pilfer a few blood packs when he was hungry. But that time he found wistfull to switch all sugar boxes with the salt ones.

A few minutes later loud voice resounded from the top of the manor down to the ears of the vampires now at their basement.

_"ALUCARD!!!!!!!__ COME IN MY OFFICE NOW YOU FILTHY PIECE OF VAMPIRIC $H1'#4__ ! »_

_Arf__... Master did another foolish thing..." _Seras thought with amusement.

_"Well Police girl, I suppose I won't be having fun with you __tonight!_ Said the joker to the fledgling.

She blushed at a heathen thought although Alucard would certainly picked it off.

Alucard chuckled and phased in Integra's office to receive his punishment.

At that time in Integra's office ,Walter, still confused about how he could have served salt instead of sugar understood it all when he saw Integra stabbing Alucard's stomach with the nearest sword around.

* * *

Sorry if my English grammar killed your brain, but I'm French. Like pip, and so pip will certainly come in the action if I decide to write more of it ! 


	2. Chapter 2 : Tuesday

Well I got one review so here you are ! Fast done, but I find it quite funny. Tell me what you're thinking. And yes I know Integra is protestant But both catholics and protestants arn't supposed to say rude things hehe. And as the equivalent of the expression meaning that in french says : "Pas très catholique !" I keept it like this Forgive meeeeee.

* * *

**_TUESDAY _**

Tuesday was Alucard's favorite day. Why? To tell the truth it was the day of the blood supplies delivering so it was the day of the week the blood was the fresher and so on the most tasty. Every Tuesday Alucard had been waiting at the window ever since he woke up. Despite he hated the sun he liked to see the white Red Cross truck coming throughout the path leading from the road to the Hellsing's manor. With not a single freak alerts since the beginning of this week. Alucard had been very bored of everything even bored from annoying Integra. But he just said he was bored from annoying them nothing less nothing more.

He remembered it like it was yesterday. In fact it wasn't even yesterday it was a few hours ago this morning in her office. But anyway his old crazing mind was thinking of everything like it had happened years ago those times he started to feel a sentiment of "deja vu" voyez vous. Well, so he remembered the exact words of Integra standing reversed in front of him. To say the truth it obvious Alucard who was reverse standing foots on the ceiling. So they were staring at each other, reversed like I said, Integra bared an annoyed tone. No need to say that Alucard as usual, is grinning 100 of the time.

- _Alucard I'm warning you, I am serious. If you dare tricking somebody living in this house again... I will lock you in the basement for... _  
- _7 Days? _Interrupted Alucard in the same tone a bargainer would at the market.  
- _2 Weeks_. Integra Replied.  
- _3 days?_ Alucard said softly with an imploring gaze.  
- _Deal._ Approved Integra thinking she'll have 3 days of peace.  
- _Thanks Master._ Alucard Chuckled as he dived into the floor.

Ha, he quite was proud of how well he managed to bargain his next punishment. But yet he had something to do so he decided to cut his thoughts right away before disappearing in a dark mist.

He now reappeared just behind the Red Cross truck. The driver was speaking with Walter about delivery signature and shits at the front of the Truck.  
Alucard was now in _"Solid Snake"_ mode. That wasn't very hard for him though. All he had to do was to phase his hand through in trunk and grab a crate of blood packs and then disappear to his room. But he wasn't fully himself without a daily freak bloodbath or was it that he was standing in the sun which was quite annoying him.  
He phased a hand through the metal grabbed the handle of the crate and pulled back his arm. He didn't know how it happened but the thing was that he forgot to phase the crate with him while pulling back...  
A loud metallic sound followed by a choked _"Ow Shit!"_ came from the back of the truck and could be heard by the two men's.

Walter stopped talking a few seconds and said loudly while sighing:  
_"No Life King, whatever you rob from this supply truck will be subtracted counting as twice from your share"._

Alucard leaned his head on the right. Releasing his hold on the crate still inside the truck he was now staring at Walter with a brilliant simper on his face.  
_"What? Come on Walter let me take them as usual please."_ Trying on Walter one of his "Sex beams" as Pip calls them.

_"There is no way Alucard. Sir Integra said your punishment for yesterday was no blood for you today"_. The butler replied without wobbling.

Seeing that his suggestion power was powerless against the stoic butler he decided to start calculation what it would cost him to disobey.

Against all odds Alucard was very good at mental arithmetic's when it had to do with his blood ration. Concentrating himself he kneeled and took the thinker's stance and whispered in a deep tone: _"So... this stupid pathetic crate of 4 cold human blood packs will cost me like 8 I rather take them today instead of tomorrow... Anyway you know you can't bargain with the butler... Mhhhhhh"_  
He stood there in this strange position for a dozen of seconds.

_"Hahem..." _Walter scraped his throat; showing clearly that he was waiting for a fast reaction from the vampire.

_"Okay I'll wait until tomorrow so." _Alucard assumed as he stood up and started to walk toward the basement, smirking at Walter.

_"Fine, so I guess you have no objection with the fact that your share of today will inherit to Miss Victoria."_ The butler added.

Alucard froze.  
His eyes were sparkling red. Instantly a mischievous plan built up in his mind.

_"Maybe I could even kill two bats with one stone"_ He thought as a mad grin pointed on his face.

_"I must prepare myself, and by the way Integra just warned me about not bothering the __living__."_ He then thought giggling.

Walter saw it and smiled; he perfectly knew what Alucard was up to do this night to have his dinner. As for the delivery guy, he just stood there motionless as he saw that red coated guy disappear in a flock of bats.

The gruesome vampire was now sitting on his throne like chair, sitting like a nervous kid on the eve of Christmas. _"Oh my, I can't stand it, Nightfall... HURRY!"_... "_HURRY ! HURRY! HURRY!"_ he repeated madly hearing back his voice echoing on the walls.

* * *

More tomorrow... maybe. 


	3. Chapter 3 : Wednesday

Well in this one I'm experimenting some sort of new dialog style, tell me if it sounds nice.

* * *

**_WEDNESDAY (well it was more like Tuesday to Wednesday night)_**

Alucard was unusually sneaking in the basement's corridors. Unusually cause he was usually used to use his very useful skills of phasing and teleportation to sneak around. (A/n: here comes the brain killing sentence).But this time he kinda wanted to break the habits to kill some boredom. He had left his room and was heading to Seras' chamber. He perfectly knew that Walter had brought the blood to Seras at 21:00.

Now in front of her door, he frowned as he overheard strange sounds coming from inside. He eavesdropped a bit, and could now ear sounds of swords clashes. Curious he waited to ear some more. The he heard some Japanese voices covered by Seras' voice spouting: _"Ha! There you are you punk! This time I'll tear you into pieces!"_

Alucard completely forgot his first goal when he heard her fledgling spouting something worthy of the blood in her veins. The important goal of this night was now "annoying the police girl and getting blood by any means" but "embarrassing the police girl, discover what makes her swear and getting the blood by any means".

He phased in the room bearing his special "Now you're interesting me!" grin. And wondered what the hell was happening when he saw his fledgling Indian style sat in front of a screen. He first thought she was just watching the TV. But why was she randomly bending her upper body left and right, there more while squeezing something in her hands.

Now standing right behind her, dubiously looking at the TV screen, he wondered what kind of movie that could be. He was focusing his attention at those two guys fighting each other with moves he judged quite styled.

Then suddenly he focused back to Seras' spouting _"Yes! I won!"_ hands in the air. Alucard frowned.

_"You won what police girl?" _He softly asked even more dubious.

One scream later...

_"Ah... Erm... Master I didn't knew you were there. You scared the living out of me!" _

_"Obviously, but what did you win? You were just watching, a gamble maybe?" _said Alucard with a pondering tone.

_"Ha... You don't get it Master I was the one controlling the left character with this gamepad which is wireless connected to this playstation there near the TV. You never played video games, didn't you?" _explained the fledgling to the master

_"Video games? Once I heard that those things kill your brain if you play them too much. Am I right?" _

_"Huh... What you heard seems to be quite an old rumor I suppose. Anyway we are vampires, aren't we? It's no harm to us." _

_"Well if you call yourself a vampire" _joked the vampire with a faint smile.

_"Cooooome on Maaasterrrr..." _implored Seras at this teasing.

_"Hey I didn't say it was no harm to you because your brain was already fried" _He added while chortling.

Seras sighed.

_"So how do we play?"_ asked the elder staring at the young in the eyes.

_"Does Master really wants to play with me?_ Thought Seras while recovering her breath.

Alucard came closer and closer just after picking that thought. He was now whispering at her ear: "_Sure I do. Why would I have asked if I didn't want to do it with you? So how do we play Seras?"_  
Seras' face reddened. Why her Master called her with her name, and why did he wanted to play video games with her? That wasn't the matter at all. What was she blushing for seriously? Eh? Anyway she corrected herself and moved one:

_"Huh. Okay. First take the second gamepad; it looks like the one I'm using. It's on the table near the blood bucket." _

_"Ah, the blood, I totally forgot it, I'll think about it later."_ thought the elder as he took the gamepad in hands near his fledgling sides.

_"You must hold it like this Master. See?"_ Seras chuckled seeing her Master holding the playstation gamepad like a gun.

_"Right, so how do I control the character?"_ asked gently Alucard, not the least annoyed of the world by his fledgling laughs.

_"First, let me start a new game." _

She started moving the selection highlight over "Versus Mode" and pressed X.

_"This character selection screen, this is where you can choose a character, use the pad's cross to move the highlight with and press X to select the character." _

_"Mhh im not in this game what a shame! But this guy looks good."_ Alucard had just selected Nightmare as a character whereas Seras had picked Sophitia.

_"Huh, Yeah he's cool, Watch out its about to start." _She warned.

**-Round 1-**  
Alucard attentively watched the two characters taunting each other in the intro scenery as the camera moved to the classical view of fighting games. Seras looked at him, showing him the buttons on her pad: _"Well, see Master you control your character movements with the cross, you can block hits by pressing still on X and you can attack with..."_

**-Fight!-**  
Alucard was already pressing the buttons that were O ∆ and □ like a mad man delighting of the moves his character was doing.  
He started grinning like mad. This also made Seras realize that her master's character was slamming hers against a wall and was repeatedly attacking it with side swings... But it was too late. She really sighed when she saw that he finished her character by heavily stamping it on the ground.

**-Nightmare Wins!-**

_"Ahaha, Sophitia you suck!" _He giggled expressing his amusement.

_"Master! I wasn't playing."_ She shouted in the hurry of fighting back.

_"You were Police girl, you're holding the pad."_ He chuckled.

_"How the hell does he already know so many moves with that character?" _She thought.

_"You know Police girl, I did read in your mind how to play and so I learned at the same time most of the hits you know at this game."_ He explained to her.

_"Damn master that's... ch...cheating!"  
_

_"Cheating you say? Just wait I start predicting all your attacks by reading your mind!" _He added.

_"What?! Master! There's no use playing with you!"  
_

_"You're wrong there are lots of use, lots of fun for me and training for you."  
_

_"Training!? what?"  
_

_"Dear fledgling use this as some kind of training for your mental block abilities, I won't read your mind with insistence as I have to focus the most of my attention on doing those moves." _

_"Huh... I guess you're right..."_ She quietly said blushing of embarrassment.

**-Round 2-**  
Seras focused herself on the game while erecting a mental block which simply consisted of humming a song in her mind.  
Alucard was surprised that his fledgling had such a way of hiding her thought. Nevertheless he tried fighting her with the moves he just learned and some other he accidentally made. He judged he was doing quite well according to the fact it was his first time.

**-Sophitia Wins!-**  
Seras had stuck out her tongue at her Master grinning of joy.

_"Ahah! Master I bet you never knew about guard breaking hits and projections didn't you!". _

_"How do you do these? Explain me." _

_"Well each hit are done differently with every character, but the projections are always made in the same way. You can do..."  
_

It took only a few fights for Alucard to master all of Nightmare's moves. Against all odd there was quite a challenge playing against Seras, she was pretty strong at that game. She even globally had the upper hand on him. As round were going on Alucard was trying harder and harder to read her mind, and was happy to see that on her side Seras was erecting stronger and stronger mental blocks. In some words they were both having a good time playing together.

Around midnight their stomachs were both growling. Reminding them that stuck in the heat of the game, they totally forgot to have their dinner.

* * *

So what game are they playing? 


	4. Chapter 4 : Thursday

**_THURSDAY _**

Seras and her Master played Soulcalibur all night long. The daybreak was on its way, and they both felt really tired. At least Seras was, because Alucard could stand weeks without closing an eye. Its logic, did you ever wondered how he did to piss off Integra even during daytime?  
So the fledgling crawled in her coffin as the master headed toward his Room.  
Walking he thought: "Mhh video games are a good thing to kill my boredom; I should ask Integra to buy me a computer with games".  
A few thought later. I won't bother describing them because they had to do with guts, limbs, weapons, swastikas, big guns, anuses, flames, blood and so on. Well just the usual shits and stuff Alucard used to see every time he happened to close his eyes.

**-Knock Knock- **

_"Mhh... Come in..." _said Integra as she was fighting to prevent a stack of paperwork from falling.  
Alucard slowly entered in the room, phasing through the door of course. Integra raised his head along with an eyebrow.  
_"Since when do you bother knocking in order to enter my office, where it happens that nineteen percents of the time you're here to piss me off." _loudly said the silver haired woman.  
_"So I presume that I am hitting those five percents." _calmly said Alucard scratching his chin.  
_"Five percents? Don't you mean ten percents?" _replied Integra raising the other eyebrow.  
_"No, the other five percents are for when I'm coming here to save you, or at least try to, from a surprise lesbian vampire freak attack."  
"Well, anyway stop the heck bothering me with numbers, I'm already confused enough with all this paperwork. Come to the point."  
"I want a computer, with games, and Interweb if possible." _explained the No Life King with a large grin on his face.  
_"Interwhat? You mean Internet? We have Wi-Fi hot spot you know. That's all?" _asked Integra._  
"Yes." _nodded the vampire grinning up to his ears._  
"You're sure?" _asked again the head of Hellsing surprised._  
"Yes I am." _nodded again the vampire._  
"Ok I'll tell Walter to deliver you one by the daybreak. I recommend you to have some sleep, and quit drinking if possible." _She said while looking at Alucard with a suspicious look.

Alucard left the room and decided to sleep until Walter would bring him his computer. He was also wondering on the way what the hell were Wi and Fi doing at this so called "hotspot".

Now in front of his coffin he took a glass of Heathen-Emilion 1984/O+ (one of the bottle of wines of his own concoction) before coming at the conclusion that Wi and Fi were certainly some sort of abbreviation for some kind of equipment which had to do with Internet.

Extract from the report about Alucard's activities: Classed top secret by Hellsing's security.

10:00AM: Alucard shoves in his coffin.  
10:01AM: Alucard shoves out of his coffin.  
10:02AM: Alucard drinks another glass of wine.  
10:03AM: Alucard phases in Seras' chamber slumps on her coffin and try to read her dreams.  
10:04AM to 10:10AM: Alucard can be caught drooling on Seras' coffin lid.  
10:11AM: Alucard wipes away the saliva with the closed clothing at hand, which happened to be Police girl's bra.  
10:12AM: Alucard notices that Police Girl has been drinking two packs of blood. Ah... She's going to get fat for sure!  
10:13AM: Alucard is, or at least seems happy. Weird and wonderful isn't it?  
10:14AM: Alucard is back in his lair.  
10:15AM: Alucard takes a bottle and opens it with super telekinesis of doom and drinks the whole bottle.  
10:17AM: Alucard is off for whatever he's usually doing in his coffin.  
...  
10:10PM: Alucard wakes up.  
10:11PM: Alucard realizes he's having a serious hangover.  
10:12PM: Alucard gets out of his coffin with a blurred vision.  
10:13PM: Reaches his chair after nearly stumbling on his coat.  
10:30PM: Alucard feels himself fine and notice the black laptop on his table. (Yeah, hangovers duration decreased down to around 20 minutes as vampires are aging). Don't ask me why.  
10:30PM: Alucard succeeds in turning on the computer.  
11:00PM: Alucard gives up after trying 100 different passwords and usernames at Windows log in.

Out of ideas he teleported to the workshop and reappeared right behind Walter who was reading some weird magazine with babes on the cover.

-_Walter, what's my username and password?_ This sentence made the butler turn round.  
-_Ho, err! Master Alucard I didn't knew you were there... _Replied the butler, quickly hiding the magazine behind his back.  
-_How comes you look less pale than usual Walter?_ Alucard Asked grinning.  
-_Hum, forget it! Well your login is "Alucard", and your password is "Bastard", this was a suggestion of Sir Integra. _Added the butler as he pulled off a drawer in which he placed the magazine.

Alucard opened the laptop and start typing._-Mhh... No it's not working...  
-Let me see._ Said Walter surprised.  
A few moments later...  
_-Ah, I see, your account has not been registered properly._  
-_And?_  
-_And then we must log in on an older account to create yours._  
-_And what's the older account?_  
-_It's Miss Victoria's old one, because this is a computer has been lent to her until she could bring her own._ Walter explains.  
-_Mhh I see, so I must ask to her, thanks Walter. S_ays the vampire as he leaves the room, laptop under the arm.  
-_You're welcome._ The butler replies as he heads back toward the drawer.  
An echoing voice interrupts him.  
_"You shouldn't take exotic readings too often Walter. It may be bad for your hearth. Roflroflrofl._" And no this isn't the noise made by a chopper.

* * *

Well I find myself lacking of inspiration, so let's introduce an evil plot soon. Or start an other story with a steadier plot line. Edit : Fixed fanfic auto line space stuff or so... Screwed the layout anyhow.  
Expect a slowdown in update rythm. As Im actually busy on an Alucard fan art with that damn photoshop. 


	5. Chapter 5 : Friday

I promise you that in the next chapters well discover what the true meaning of no life king is. For the meantime, first computer experience for Alucard.

* * *

**_FRIDAY _**

_"Seras, I want you to unlock this computer."  
"What?"  
"Make me an account on it."  
"Do you also want me to show you how to use it?"  
"Sure, I would enjoy that."  
"OooKay, so I need to make your account first right."  
"Go ahead Police Girl."_

Walter and Integra were gruesomely eavesdropping at Seras' door.

_- What is he plotting...? _Whispers Integra.  
_- I don't have a clue._ Whispers back Walter.  
_- Anyway he sounds calm tonight. I think there will be no disaster to be afraid._ Ahah you think so ?  
_- True.  
- But anyway, let's hear some more to be sure._ Added Integra, touched by a sudden doubt.

They stuck back their head to the door and spied upon the two vampires for another moment.

_"Ok Master let's find you an e-mail address, click on Internet Explorer, the blue icon there." "That's your homepage, Google, you can search whatever you want in Google, you just have to type it in there and press enter."  
"Right I understand."  
"So, let's make a hotmail address."  
"A few keyboard strokes later."_  
_ "Will: Alexanderlucardhellsing.uk"be at your convenience ? Or maybe you want one of those"_  
_"Ho, its fine. It's pretty sure I will annoy Judas Priest with this one ahah! I'll do with it." smirked the vampire.  
"So now get used with the computer while I take my shower ok?"_

Alucard evillishly nodded.  
As everybody can guess... It was stronger than him. He couldn't bear it. That was nonsense to not do it.  
Feeling so, Alucard for his first research on Google, typed: _"Big Guns"._  
He was quite pleased that Google had found for him _1 820 000 pages within 1, 2521 seconds_ for _"Big Guns". _This Google was maybe the only thing on earth that could be faster than him to find guns.  
At the end of this thought he started to check the results.

Within the first ones he saw one that caught his attention: _"Here is the biggest and largest community of men with big guns comes check our club gallery, add yours, come sign up freely!"_  
So he clicked that link, and clicked sign up on the classy black homepage with no images. _"Aha, for sure you must sign up even for just watching!" _He thought.  
Doing so, he filled the fields one after another. But the computer didn't want his real birth date, how come. Wondering why, he asked Seras loudly "Seras, what birth date must I enter in?!"  
The running water noise stopped. _"Just enter any date that is not over 150 years in the past!"_ Then the shower resumed its chant.  
Alucard understood that computers were way too modern to apprehend the date of his true birth!  
Once the sign up complete, he followed the instructions telling him to check his mail and validate his account.  
He clicked the validation link, which displayed on a simple black background: Registration successful! Welcome to the big gun's owner club! Click here to see our gallery and chat with other big guns fans!  
_ "Hohoho, their ancestors will be turning in their graves when I'll submit Casull and Jackal there"_ Alucard chuckled while the gallery was loading.

Integra and Walter still eavesdropping at this moment:

_-What the fuck is he speaking about?  
-I supposed he's surfing on a weapon exposition website or something like.  
-Wait; weapon website?  
-Yes and I'm used to go there too sometimes to find ideas for new guns?  
-Walter. Alucard probably typed "Big guns" in the search field...  
-Oh my god. Walter eyes widened.  
-We must stop him, let's go!_

Integra and Walter hurled into the room in urgency.  
_-ALUCARD! DON'T CLI..._ They both shouted at the same time.

But it was already too late, the gallery just finished loading. The computer screen was displaying the most disgusting pictures the Internet could ever bear. In front of an astonished Alucard, with a little slogan just under it: _"Watch out for those men's big guns! The pictures were now making a flash slideshow."_  
At this sight, both Integra and Walter eyes also widened while their jaws dropped on the ground. Everybody was speechless staring at the laptop for about a minute.  
Seras came out from the shower in a towel and asked. _"M-m-master? Walter? Sir Integra? What's going on ?" _Seras swallowed. No response.  
The air was tense; everybody could feel Alucard surprise slowly transforming in a dark vengence desire.  
_ "It's your entire fault that this human filth tainted my soul, you'll have to pay for this!"_ Alucard muttered angrily tightening his fists grinning maniacally.  
She approached the computer with hesitation and saw the reason of all of this. Her eyes also widened but her jaw didnt dropped somehow.

_-RUN! SERAS! RUN!_ The two other shouted as they started running out of the room.  
Understanding what would happen she quickly closed the laptop and started running with Integra and Walter.  
Only those two would know where to go when Alucard gets on a pranking rampage.

Now in the long corridor they took a look back toward the room and saw Alucard walking toward them as darkened aura started to engulf the corridor.  
"YOU... YOU... HUMANS ARE DISGUSTING! YOU SHALL DIE FOR YOUR FILTH!!" Shouted the No Life King.  
The trio shivered; Seras nearly droped her towel; and I'm not mentioning that Walter lost his eyes here and there at this occasion.

_"Hurry!! We must hide fast!!"_ Said Integra leading the way to a secret room that even Alucard didn't knew.

* * *

Well that's made remade and over made but... Anyway was it funny ? 


	6. Chapter 6 : Saturday

**Ok, lame update time, lame story, lame update. Halconnen will wait some more. But here's some replacement.  
**

* * *

**SATURDAY **

Now back in the Hellsing's Manor, after the "big guns" incident. Seras and Integra didn't know what Alucard reaction would be after a whole day of solitude.

Surprisingly, they found him in his lair, leaning at the half opened door they saw him, with the computer on his knees, typing on it...

_"How is he still able to touch that computer and even more use it Oo?"_ asked Walter  
_"I don't know, let's just ask him"_ replied Integra.  
_"Huh... Are you sure it's a good idea?"_ muttered Seras.  
_"Whatever happens, if it's a trap, we deserved it."_ said firmly Integra.

Then they stepped in the room and got yelled at...

_"AH! THERE YOU ARE! YOU..."_ started Alucard with a evil tone.  
_"AAHH! MAASSTERRR!! PLEASE FORGIVE US!!"_ screamed Seras as she started to be a prey to the panic.  
_"YOU SHOULD... come see that! It's just too amazing! Come over here and check that out!"_ finished the first fearsome vampire with a nearly kind tone at the end.

Walter: O.o  
Integra: ô.ö  
Seras: \o/

"_What? What did calm you down so fast Alucard?!" Integra asked as Seras was bouncing around thinking "MASTER IS... Some kind of... KIND NOW!"  
_

And then she thought, or maybe it be that Master enjoyed those pictured of... OH!  
_"Check this out guys!"_ said again Alucard as the three came closer to see what was on the computer screen.  
_"Yesterday I was very angry at you, I wanted to tear you apart, tear your guts, meter per meter, and.. I was about to start tearing Seras cloth to start but then I..." _continued the elder vampire.  
_"Then I received that e-mail from a guy called A. Anderson inviting me to try a game! And I tried it, and I found out that game so awesome!"_

The trio could now see what Alucard was doing; he seemed to be killing some kind of rabbits with a crappy character that looked gruesomely ugly. Seras nearly laughed at the sight of his character.  
_"And what's that game?"_ Asked Integra  
_"War hammer Online, looks cool no? For the moment I'm just a level 5 chaos chosen but when I will be level..."_ continued to talk Alucard, on mono speech mode as he killed another mutant rabbit.  
_"Fine, if it makes you this kind..."_started Integra as Alucard eyes started to shimmer.  
_"...I'll get you a subscription to this game."_ finished the head of Hellsing smirking back at Alucard.  
_"Are you sure this is a good Idea sir Integral??" _objected Walter.  
_"I know Walter, I know what those games can do to people, but it seems to be good for us, and him, perhaps."_ replied Integra as they started to leave the room.

To say it all they were more astonished by Alucard's transformation due to this game, rather than the game itself.

Seras stayed a bit more with her Master to watch the game a bit more. And when she was about to leave, she whispered to him at the ear:  
_"Ho, my Master, you sure used to be, and will be, a true No Life King. :3"_ She then left the room chuckling about what she just said.

_"You too will my dear Seras, I swear it."_ he whispered as she was gone.

**1 Week later... around 12:00am**

-blingblingbling- -you reached the final level!-

_"Ah, I finally caught up to Anderson's level! I'm going to beat the crap out of his Sigmar's priest NOW! He'll pay for what he did, healing that filthy elf when I was about to give him the final thrust!"_

During that week, Alucard didn't close the eye once; he just stood there and leveled his character to catch up Anderson, who sent him this invitation to the game. As he was playing, I mean stupid monsterbashing that required two telepathic clicks on the mouse and go away till the monster was dead, and so... in his own room. He used to teach Seras the way to use certain vampire's abilities such as telekinesis, cloth forming, shape morphing or even the feared technique of sucking blood at distance. Learning how to drain blood at distance with the help of telekinesis was the first step to the technique of absolute regeneration. That was the trick. And so he trained Seras to drain blood from bottles he had put on the ground. And in the meantime no one dared to bother them, as they always sounded to be having fun. Not even Walter who didnt bothered taking off empty bottles as Alucard asked him. But at a certain moment there were so many bottles on the ground that Seras couldn't moves a leg without making some domino reaction, but it was a perfect occasion to learn levitation! And so she succeeded with a bit of concentration and cheers from her Master, but instantly crashed on the bottles when he screamed that he found out some kind of super powerful item on a dreadful mountain goat of endless sorrow mountain. "In fact Master is very kind whenever he's not bored" she ended up thoughting. He even allowed her to sleep in his coffin as she was way too exhausted to go crawl back to her room after the training.

_"Anderson is not logged . This bastard of Judas priest will suffer my wrath with even more depth!"_ giggled Alucard.

_"Well let's have some sleep in the meantime"_ he calmly said, as if he was pouring all his maniacal and mad feelings in that game."

He opened the lid of the coffin, and saw his fledgling sleeping deeply, holding the black pillow between in her arms as she did everynight. He took a gentle look at her blushed face before muttering:  
_"I guess that, like in your dream, there will be enough room for us two if you move that pillow away Police Girl"_.

And without any surprise (for us only), Seras found herself hugging everything but the pillow when she woke up.

* * *

So how was it, I tried a little more relaxed writting style for this one. 


End file.
